Secrets of an Undercover Activist Read online

  To all the kids who know they can make a difference . . . and especially for those who are still figuring it out.

  GREEN PEAS MANIFESTO

  Rule 1

  THE FIRST RULE OF GREEN PEAS IS SHHHHHH!

  Rule 2

  IT’S NOT ABOUT THE GLORY, IT’S ABOUT THE MESSAGE.

  Rule 3

  PRANKS MUST ALWAYS BE FOR THE GREATER GOOD.

  Rule 4

  STAY OFF THE GRID.

  Rule 5

  TAKE EVERY OPPORTUNITY TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE.

  Rule 6

  BE CLEVER. A CLEVER PRANK IS A GOOD PRANK.

  Rule 7

  GO FOR MAXIMUM EXPOSURE AND MAXIMUM EFFECT.

  Rule 8

  WHEN SOMETHING IS WRONG, TAKE ACTION.

  Rule 9

  BE CREATIVE. STAY AHEAD OF THE GAME.

  Rule 10

  DON’T BE AFRAID TO GO ALL THE WAY TO THE TOP.

  Rule 11

  FOLLOW ALL THE LEADS.

  Rule 12

  KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN YOU ARE ALWAYS ON THE JOB.

  Rule 13

  NEVER TAKE YOUR EYE OFF THE PRIZE.

  Rule 14

  ALWAYS LISTEN TO OTHERS. NO IDEA IS TOO CRAZY.

  Rule 15

  NO PEA LEFT BEHIND.

  Rule 16

  TRUST NO ONE. EXCEPT OTHER GREEN PEAS, OF COURSE.

  Rule 17

  BAD PEOPLE MUST BE STOPPED – WHATEVER IT TAKES.

  Rule 18

  NEW MEMBERS MUST BE APPROVED BY ALL CURRENT MEMBERS.

  Rule 19

  NOT EVERYONE WILL UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU’RE TRYING TO DO. THAT DOESN’T MEAN YOU STOP.

  Rule 20

  NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF POSITIVE PRANKING.

  Rule 21

  IF WE GO DOWN, WE GO DOWN TOGETHER.

  Rule 22

  WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH, THE TOUGH GET PRANKING.

  Rule 23

  WATCH WHAT YOU EAT. KNOW WHERE YOUR FOOD COMES FROM.

  Rule 24

  STAND UP. BE HEARD. DON’T BACK DOWN.

  Rule 25

  ALWAYS TRY TO BE A BETTER PERSON. BUT IN THE END, BE THE BEST YOU CAN.

  Rule 26

  LEAD THE CHANGE.

  Green Peas Rule 1

  THE FIRST RULE OF GREEN PEAS IS SHHHHHH!

  I try to hide my nerves as our sports teacher, Ms Mezher, explains how cross country day is going to work.

  “And next Friday, Years Five and Six will meet in their assigned groups on the bottom field at…”

  I hold my breath and close my eyes. Here it comes…

  Beep beep. Beep beep.

  Ms Mezher stops for a moment and scans the school assembly. I keep my eyes fixed on the maths folder on my lap. That’s only the first alarm clock. It’s stuck to the bottom of a seat over near where Year Three sits. The first few I set to go off are quieter: they’ll build up slowly with one going off every minute until the grand finale under Mrs Keiren’s butt.

  Ms Mezher tries to ignore it, and continues with her announcements.

  “Um, they’ll meet at the beginning of lunch so that we can make sure…”

  Beep beep. Beep beep.

  Ding. Ding. Ding. Ding.

  Some kids are starting to notice. Teachers as well. I can’t look too interested yet. For now, I focus on my maths folder. My name is spelt out with stickers on the front and I pick at the “W” until it breaks in half so my name now reads “Casey Vu” instead of “Casey Wu”.

  Ms Mezher is trying her best to stay on track.

  “Er, make sure that everyone is checked off before we…”

  Beep beep. Beep beep.

  Ding. Ding. Ding. Ding.

  Merp. Merp. Merp.

  That one’s two rows in front of me, under Amelie Berger’s seat. She jumps into the air a little, looking around her. This alarm clock’s louder than the first two. The kids near me start to giggle. Teachers stand up. I can react now without looking suspicious.

  Merp. Merp. Merp.

  It’s a pretty horrible sound – I can’t imagine anyone wanting to wake up to that. Everyone’s paying attention now. Ms Mezher has given up on her speech and is looking to the teachers on stage for help. A murmur spreads through the assembly. Heads turn left and right, confused. I join in, looking around. But I’m not confused. I know the next one will be in the Year Five section. And it’ll be a good one.

  We spent a lot of time planning this event. I tested all the alarm clocks and put them in order from quietest and most subtle to loudest and most obnoxious. Obnoxious is a great word. It sounds like some kind of disease and it has an “X” in it. “X” words always sound like they are attacking something.

  I sat in assembly for weeks, secretly mapping out the chairs in my notebook and marking where everybody sits. Then we plotted where each alarm clock would go. I did test runs at home – syncing the clocks and setting them a minute apart. I laid them out in order on my bedroom floor, listened to them go off and adjusted everything for the right effect. All with Grandpa downstairs, happily watching his shows with closed captions on, no idea what I was up to just above him. It’s one of the upsides to Grandpa being deaf – alarm clock testing doesn’t bother him at all.

  Zeke grins at me from the row in front, but I glare back at him. It’s one of the Green Peas rules. “No acknowledgement of other members during an event.” We moved it down on the list. Number 32, from memory. But that doesn’t make it any less important. But Zeke can’t help himself. He’s just so…Zeke!

  I look at my watch. Here we go…

  Beep beep. Beep beep.

  Ding. Ding. Ding. Ding.

  Merp. Merp. Merp.

  Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way. Oh what fun it is to ride on a one-horse open sleigh. HEY!

  I try my best not to smile as I think of the little Santa alarm clock strapped to the bottom of a Year Five’s chair. I had to tape Santa around the stomach because his arms and legs move back and forth like he’s making a snow angel when the alarm goes off.

  Tess Heckleston catches my eye and gives me a wink. She’s kept a pretty low profile since she got busted with a million dollars in her locker a couple of months ago, but we owe her for funding this event before she became as broke as the rest of us.

  The assembly’s in full chaos now. Kids are laughing and teachers are trying to calm everybody down – but it’s not working. And now the alarms are set to ring just thirty seconds apart.

  Beep beep. Beep beep.

  Ding. Ding. Ding. Ding.

  Merp. Merp. Merp.

  Dashing through the snow in a one-horse open sleigh.

  Buzz buzz buzz. Buzz buzz buzz.

  Bring briiiiiiiing. Bring briiiiiiiing.

  It’s 8:40 am on wbs 107.2fm, and it’s another beautiful day in Watterson.

  BRAYNK! BRAYNK! BRAYNK! BRAYNK!

  Driiiiing. Driiiiing.

  Full pandemonium has set in now. I love the word “pandemonium”. It sounds like what it is. I love words that do that.

  And as I look around me at the mess our school assembly has become, there could not be a better word than “pandemonium”.

  Kids are standing on chairs or looking under them. Everyone can hear the noise, but hardly anyone knows where it’s coming from. The teachers are shouting now, trying to get us all under control and find the alarms. It’s not going to work: we placed the clocks away from the aisle seats where the teachers are, and the kids are enjoying this way too much to help them. This act of defiance is nothing if not well thought out.

  I look at Mrs Keiren. Her face is turning slightly red, maybe even a little purple. Her hands clutch the armrests of the big wooden chair that sits on st
age, fingernails digging into the wood. She looks like a kettle heating up. I know what’s coming next, and my guess is it will be just enough to make her boil over.

  I can see the back of Cookie’s head from where I’m sitting. She doesn’t turn around. She can follow the Green Peas rules way better than Zeke, but the tension in the back of her neck tells me she can’t wait for the next bit either.

  I look at my watch. 8:44 am. Seconds to go.

  Beep beep. Beep beep.

  Ding. Ding. Ding. Ding.

  Merp. Merp. Merp.

  Over the hills we go, laughing all the way. HO HO HO!

  Buzz buzz buzz. Buzz buzz buzz.

  Bring briiiiiiiing. Bring briiiiiiiing.

  Reaching twenty-four today with clear skies and no chance of –

  BRAYNK! BRAYNK! BRAYNK! BRAYNK!

  Driiiiing. Driiiiing.

  And three, two, one…

  BWAK BWAK BAGAAAAARK!

  The chicken alarm clock goes off under Mrs Keiren’s butt…and the kettle boils over. SHE…IS…FUMING! I can almost see the steam coming out of her ears. The entire school stops and turns to face the headteacher.

  BWAK BWAK BAGAAAAARK!

  Mrs Keiren leaps up like she’s just laid an egg, and the school erupts into laughter. She reaches under her chair and rips off a chicken alarm clock covered in gaffer tape. The plastic chicken in her hand flaps its wings.

  BWAK BWAK BAGAAAAARK!

  With that, timed as perfectly as I’d hoped, a banner drops from the ceiling of the school hall.

  WAKE UP! DINOSAURS THOUGHT THEY HAD TIME TOO. SAVE OUR PLANET NOW.

  I smile proudly. It’s fine to do that now; my grin will be lost in the craziness around me. None of the teachers suspect that the quiet kid with the maths folder is behind the elaborate protests. Or, as Mrs Keiren is calling them, “pranks”.

  But I, Casey Wu, am not just a prankster. I am an activist. I may be only eleven years old, but I have a lot to say, and I will be heard. No matter how loud I have to be.

  Sometimes, you need to take action to make a difference. Everyone can stand up in their own way. Every activist has their own superpower.

  And mine is pranking.

  I slide one of Mum’s cards out of my folder. It seemed appropriate to bring this one with me today.

  Trixie Wu’s Thoughts On…

  MAKING A DIFFERENCE

  You only get one life, Casey-baby. Make it count. Make a difference, whatever you want that to be – big or small, to one person or to the whole world. Be the change you want to see. Find your strength and use it.

  xMum

  GREEN PEAS RULE 2

  IT’S NOT ABOUT THE GLORY, IT’S ABOUT THE MESSAGE.

  I get a few low fives as I make my way back to class. Green Peas isn’t a total secret at Watterson Primary, but kids here don’t dob on each other. I mean, if someone is hurting another kid or bullying them or something, there’s no code – you absolutely go down for something like that. But when it comes to “kids’ business”, we sort of look out for each other.

  I take my usual seat in Mr Deery’s class between Zeke and Cookie. Cookie gives me a slight nod – she’s so cool and super-spy-like. Zeke’s breaking the rules as usual. He’s grinning ear to ear and gives me a double thumbs-up. I just ignore him. It’s the approach I often take with Zeke.

  Mr Deery stumbles in looking pretty frazzled. It took a long time for the teachers to get everyone under control, out of assembly and back to their classes. Mr Deery used to teach Year Five, but everything got reshuffled when Mr Bijac went on paternity leave. It was a good trade. Mr Bijac smelled like feet. But not just his feet smelled like feet. His suit smelled like used socks. His aftershave smelled like old leather. And his breath…well, you know the black stuff that builds up under the corners of your toenails? Mr Bijac’s breath smelled like he ate that for breakfast. BLAH!

  So Mr Deery and his peppermint smell is a definite upgrade.

  “OK, kids, we’re going to try to move on from this morning’s little, um, disruption,” Mr Deery says, rearranging the papers on his desk for the third time.

  “Disruption”. I like that. It’s a much better word than “prank”.

  Well done, Mr Deery, that’s exactly what we’re trying to do – disrupt the way the world is going. I scribble the word “disruption” in my workbook.

  Mr Deery finally finds the book he’s looking for and waves it at the class. “Can we all get our workbooks out, turn to page thirty-four, and we’ll put this morning behind us and get onto some learning?”

  A crackle in the speaker on the ceiling tells me Mrs Keiren has other ideas.

  “Students!” Mrs Keiren’s voice screeches through the speaker. It’s so loud and distorted that it sounds like she has the microphone shoved halfway down her throat. “Today’s display of anarchy will not be tolerated.”

  I jot down the word “anarchy” on the corner of my workbook. I like the sound of that one too. Not the sound of it squawking through the speakers at me care of Mrs Keiren, of course, but the sound of it as I roll it around in my head. I make a note to look it up later.

  “These pranks are no laughing matter, and the students behind them will be found, mark my words. You may think you’re making some kind of statement, but this is NOT the way to make yourself heard.”

  I disagree. No one listens to you when you’re eleven, even when you have something really important to say. We tried to ask the supermarket at Watto Mall to stop using single-use plastic bags, but we couldn’t even speak to anyone higher up than the half-asleep seventeen-year-old who ran the assistance counter. Which, by the way, should definitely be renamed. The Green Peas events are my way – our way – of shouting so loud they can’t ignore us.

  The screeching continues. “I expect anyone who knows anything about this matter to report to my office and give themselves, or the offending students, up immediately!”

  The speaker crackles once more and falls silent. Mr Deery sighs.

  “Does anyone want to come forward?” Mr Deery asks, looking around the classroom. The kids all look at each other. Zeke, Cookie and I join in. Nobody raises their hand. I love my school.

  “Very well, then. Let’s put the matter behind us and move on with our comprehension exercises.” As Mr Deery opens up his exercise book, Mac Cooper’s hand shoots up. I hold my breath for a second. I don’t know if Mac knows about us. He’s a bit of an indie kid at school, plays guitar in a band and has that special ability to look blasé about pretty much everything. “Blasé” basically means “whatevs”, but it sounds way more sophisticated, don’t you think? It’s one of my new favourite words. Anyway, Mac seems like a cool kid. I don’t think he’d dob us in. But you never know.

  Mr Deery looks up. “Yes, Mac?”

  “Maybe instead of just ignoring the prank or trying to bust the kids who did it, we should talk about why it happened.” Mac flicks his hair away from his eyes and shrugs.

  Maybe Mac’s not just a cool indie type after all. I’m impressed. I take back my label of blasé and make note to find a more appropriate adjective for Mac. I turn to Mr Deery, super keen to hear his answer.

  “OK,” he says, closing the book in front of him. “What do you want to talk about?”

  “Not sure,” says Mac. “But it’s not just another prank, right? I mean whoever’s doing it is trying to get our attention. To – you know – think about our planet and how we’re wrecking it. I mean it’s kinda scary for us kids. With climate change and everything, are we even gonna have a planet to live on?”

  My belly’s doing flip flops. This is EXACTLY what I wanted. Mr Bijac would have shut this conversation down by now, but Mr Deery is different.

  He nods. “You’re right, Mac. I agree: it’s scary. Does anyone else worry about this sort of thing?” Every hand shoots up, including my own.

  “All right then,” he says. “Let’s talk about it. Comprehension can wait until after lunch.”

  We all close our books
.

  Mr Deery rubs his forehead. “Now, it’s a pretty big subject. Does anyone have anywhere in particular they want to start?”

  Every hand in the class shoots up again.

  Mr Deery points to Isla. “Let’s start with you, Isla.”

  She drops her hand. “I think it’s really hard to know what we should do about it. I mean, I don’t really like being in big crowds at protests, or public speaking, but I want to help too.”

  Mr Deery nods. “I think the first thing we should talk about is how you can find your own way to take a stance for what you believe in. Some people do it through science or politics, and others through protests or writing. Why don’t we talk about some of the ways you can help. Any ideas?”

  Hands go up again.

  I can’t hide my grin this time. See! I knew kids have a lot to say.

  I quickly scribble down the word “apathetic” in my folder as I race to the garden shed. I just needed to check a few words with Mr Deery after class, so Zeke and Cookie went ahead without me.

  My handwriting’s terrible because it’s super hard to run and write at the same time, but I don’t want to forget this word. Mr Deery said it at the very end of class when we were talking about why grown-ups don’t do more about what’s happening to our planet. I want to make sure I don’t forget it.

  I’ve always loved new words. I want to have a really big vocabulary so that I can explain exactly what I’m thinking and how I’m feeling. Writing’s my favourite subject at school for sure. Maybe I’ll be a writer when I grow up. But probably an activist. I wonder if you can be both. Zeke’s stepdad has two jobs, so why not?

  Realising I’ve slowed to a walk, I run the rest of the way to the garden shed.

  I do the secret knock and Zeke lets me in. “Sorry I’m late.”

  “No worries,” he says. “Mr Deery used a bunch of new words that I figured you’d want to add to the list.”

  Sometimes I think Zeke knows me too well.

  I take a seat next to Cookie and pass her the Green Peas folder. Her T-shirt today says, “trees are people too”, and there’s a cartoon of a girl hugging a tree.